family, Uncategorized

An Anti-“MomBlog”

A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. – Proverbs 14:1

To the Messy Men that I love oh-so-much,

I’m going to go against the grain here. It seems as though the internet wants to get on these here blogs and talk about how awful you all are or how tired I should be… well, I’m not drinking that Kool-Aid. I think you’re awesome. Every single messy, sloppy & forgetful thing about you is awesome. Maybe its not awesome in the conventional way – but it’s awesome in the way that you are mine…. and that’s what this is really all about.

There are a lot of blogs/articles/facebook statuses going around saying things like “Stay-at-home-mom depression is REAL” and “My husband doesn’t appreciate all I do all day” and “I just need a vacation because being a mom/nurse/cook/housekeeper/taxi driver/blah/blah/blah is hard.” Don’t you listen to them, needy men of mine. Don’t you listen one bit. Let me tell you something about all these people saying all these things… they must not realize how incredible it is to be a mommy & wife.

3388e2d107d7e4ec4474f50a06281e49Awesome?! Noooo…. its SO hard.

Damn right it’s hard. It should be! Being your mom & wife is literally the most important job I will ever and have ever had…. therefore it SHOULD be hard. The important stuff is never easy. It can’t be. It matters too much.

Now now – don’t let me confuse you – I still would appreciate you cleaning up after yourselves & making sure you always use your manners. Those are basic principles that no man should ever forget. And I promise that I WILL let you know when I’m upset with you. But I can also promise you that I won’t resent you for not being a model citizen every single moment of your life – because I’m not either.

The problem I am having with these blogs these days is that it’s giving us moms/wives the wrong sense of entitlement. Don’t get me wrong – we DO do a lot. We DO deserve to be respected and treated fairly. But we don’t deserve the right to write an open letter to our husbands about how they don’t do enough. THEY deserve a private conversation & our marriage deserves discretion. We don’t deserve the right to act like we resent the busy job of being a mom. Being a mother is a PRIVILEGE denied to so, so many.  I take my job as your wife & mommy very seriously. I want to show you a shining example of what goodness, patience & stewardship look like. I want you to understand why I deserve respect – not that I’m entitled to it, as goes for all of you.  I want you to always know that even when I’m mad, I love you all more than words or any blog will ever be able to express.

So, My wish for you 3 wonderful fellas is this:

To my husband –

You work so hard for our family. I DO get frustrated when I feel like my”work” days never end and I know I express that to you – but please don’t mistake my frustration as me diminishing what YOU do. You are an integral part of why our family works and I appreciate you. Thank you for working outside of our home, away from your boys, so that I may stay here in the chaotic 20863790_10159053768790234_486720569_nparadise I call home and watch them grow and be present for every moment. You may not always put your socks in the hamper or wash your plate after dinner – but you do your best for our family and I’m blessed that you’re mine. We’re a team – the best team. I love you.

 

To my two sweet, adventurous, busy boys – You light my life. You’re messy – I’m a clean20864243_10159053756965234_1428800123_n freak. You’re EVERYwhere – I’m structured. You’re unpredictable – I’m 2 steps ahead. You’re happiness – I’m grateful. My job as your mommy is to embrace all the things that 20839550_10159053757055234_1316794966_nwill soon disappear with adulthood and teach you how to manage them responsibly. I do NOT want to get away from you. I do NOT suffer from a depression from being at home with you. I do NOT resent you. I AM tired. All that means is that you both keep me so busy being your mommy. Thank you for teaching me selfless love & inspiring me to be the best person I can be. You have given me purpose. Thank you. I love you. Love, Me.

 

****Ladies – please be aware that every time we complain about “all the things we do”, we diminish the importance of our role. Every single living human being on this planet came to be from a mother. You’re job as a mom isn’t easy because it shouldn’t be. It’s the most important job there is (I already said that but I’ll say it again.) And you’re job as a wife is your CHOICE. And if you’re only means of communicating your grievances to your husband is passive aggressively sharing a blog on Facebook, you must not want change all that bad (because I can guarantee your husband won’t read that blog & have some kind of epiphany.) Marriage takes work. Momming takes work.  It’s all work. There are so many women (some who may be reading this) who desperately want to find a husband or maybe have lost one and who want nothing more than to be a mom -or- are having to do it on their own. If we are lucky enough to be in the elite club of wives & mothers, lets quit looking to the internet for validation and a pat on the back for things that we should do graciously & humbly. We know we’re awesome. We know what we do. We know we matter.

And that’s all that matters.

XOXO,

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The First Day of School Was Easy : 10 Ways to Make Your Mornings Go Smoother

Today, my first baby started the first grade. I don’t know how thats even 20708268_10159020270360234_3225668110944866141_npossible considering I’m only 22. Seriously though – breakfast was served, clothes laid out, teeth brushed, bed made, hair done & at the school on time. Can you believe it? The first day of school went off without a hitch.

I’ve been asked by several people how we get it all done in the mornings, especially having new-ish (is a 9 month old still considered new?) baby.  Let me start by saying that everything about our routine is intentional. Not everyone wants to be the “morning mom” and that’s ok. But if you DO, there are a lot of things that you can do to help you get over that back to school slump.

  1. Wake up 1 hour before the rest of your family  I know I know – this seems crazy to a lot of you. Now keep in mind, I have an elementary school aged child. I’ll revisit this rule when my kids are in high school. Until then, I think it’s important that we take some time to ourselves in the morning. How my day starts is typically how my image4 (1)image3-1.jpgday stays. I like to take the time to enjoy my coffee, read my bible & pack my sons lunch in quiet with no distractions. It gives my mind time to go over all the things that have to be done that day. Give it a try – be intentional with your hour – I think you’ll like it. (and yes… this is when I draw my sons napkin)
  2. Have a schedule & STICK TO IT  We have our schedule printed out and hanging in image1 (1)our living room. It helps us to stay on task because lets be honest, breakfast doesn’t always take 45 minutes to eat but it’s easy to lose track of time. It’s nice having a reminder on the wall. The best part is that my son can also see the schedule and watch the clock.
  3. Give each family member a responsibility  Moms aren’t the only ones who can get kids dressed, fed and out the door. Your family needs to have all parts working correctly in order to function at max capacity. I pack the lunch, pick out the clothes & make sure the backpack is ready. My husband makes the breakfast & does our sons hair. Our son is in charge of picking up his room, cleaning the table after eating and brushing his teeth. If we all know our roles, its easy. We all take care of the baby too. One will change the diaper while the other makes the bottle while the other gets his toy mat out.
  4. Have a command center  Put a place in your main living area where everyone canimage2 (2) go to know what the day has in store. My command center is in my living room. It’s got our large calendar & any other bulletins as well as a drop zone for back packs. We don’t waste time around here finding what we need – it is where its supposed to be.
  5. Pick up the house before bed  Waking up to a clean-ish house can make for a much smoother morning. It goes along with the command center – You can always find what you’re looking for.
  6. Never stop moving  My rule of thumb is that I don’t even sit down in morning to drink my coffee and read my Bible. I do that all standing up. I have learned the hard way that when I sit, I stay sat. The old adage “A body in motion stays in motion” is absolutely where we’re going with this.
  7. Get yourself dressed for the day  If you do it right, you’ll have enough time to at least thrown on some clothes and freshen up before going out the door. It’s important to feel good when we leave for the day.
  8. Make your bed  You would be surprised how the direction of your day can be determined by such a simple task. Most things are mental. If you have had time to get yourself dressed and make your bed, mentally your head will be clearer.
  9. HAVE FUN  Wake up in a good mood on purpose. Sing a good morning song, turn on the lights, open the blinds, let the sun shine in. You may not be a morning person – who cares. Fake it. Your kids are so much more likely to peel themselves off the couch in the morning if you’re up and moving around too.
  10. Pray  Take a deep breath and pray for your little ones as they go off to school. School nowadays is harder than many of us can imagine – and there is no greater protection we can offer them than a quick prayer in the morning. And lets be honest – a little Jesus makes everything better.

Momming in the morning just isn’t easy. It’s not. But just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean that we just get to avoid it. Our kids habits are being groomed RIGHT NOW. They are learning the ways they will parent their children one day. Something as simple as a morning routine could stick with them forever.

Plan B: If you give all of the above a good ol’ college try… I’ve heard that a spray bottle of water works pretty good to get people movin’. I’m not sayin’ I’ve tried it… but I’m not sayin’ I haven’t. 🙂

xoxo

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